Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:34 pm
Fri April 25, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Mon April 28, 2014 9:25 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank. But first, it's the gamer you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1(888) 924-8924, or you can click the Contact Us link at our website, which is WaitWait.NPR.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows, right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, and our August 28 show at Tanglewood in Massachusetts. And be sure to check out "How to Do Everything." This week, Mike and Ian tell you what to do with all those leftover marshmallow peeps.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And you all know you have some. Hi. You're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

MARCELA GALLI: Hi.

SAGAL: Hi, who's this?

GALLI: This is Marcela from Westford, Massachusetts.

SAGAL: Westford, Massachusetts.

GALLI: Yes.

SAGAL: What you do there in Westford?

GALLI: I'm a physical therapist and a mom and a wife.

SAGAL: In that order?

(LAUGHTER)

GALLI: Just about.

SAGAL: Now I have - because I'm a runner, I have been injured. I've seen my share of physical therapists, and you guys hurt.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And I've always wondered, is there a point to the pain, or are you just doing it to make us think that since it hurts, we must be getting better?

GALLI: Well, I think if you cause enough pain and then stop, people think they feel better after.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Marcela. Carl Kasell is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Are you ready to go?

GALLI: I'm ready.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

CARL KASELL, BYLINE: King Louis just got his desire, so a jungle book story retires. Apes harnessed the power of man's hot red flower. A bonobo's building a...

GALLI: A fire?

SAGAL: A fire. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Very good.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A bonobo - that's the sex-crazed ape that puts the mate in primate...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Recently lit a campfire from scratch, something many Boy Scouts only lie about being able to do. But he didn't stop there. As soon as the fire got going, the bonobo toasted marshmallows.

ROY BLOUNT JR.: No.

SAGAL: Seriously. He then proved to be even more human-like by losing the marshmallow in the fire, starting to cry and begging to be taken home.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KASELL: It's not just an afternoon filler. It's a plot device in a cheap thriller. That bed is a trap, so don't take a nap. A nap is the true silent...

GALLI: Killer?

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Yes, killer.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A new study from Cambridge finds adults between the ages of 40 and 79 who napped daily for an hour or less are 14 percent more likely to die in the next 13 years.

BRIAN BABYLON: What?

SAGAL: It's true. So if you take naps, you might die.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: OK, it's scary. But then again, what's death but another really great nap?

(LAUGHTER)

BABYLON: Tell those scientists to cut it out.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I took a very refreshing nap while Roy was talking a few minutes ago.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It felt good.

BLOUNT: So did I.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KASELL: At 70, life gets more bumpy. My body grows saggy and lumpy. I refuse to be cheerful. I'll give you an earful. I'm aging and rightfully...

GALLI: Grumpy.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed. Grumpy.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study has determined the exact age when men begin to get grumpy - 70.

O'CONNOR: Great.

SAGAL: That's roughly the age when the novelty and pleasure of retirement wears off. People start insulting you by giving you the seat on the subway. You don't feel good. The onset of grumpiness can happen quite suddenly, so do not throw a 70th birthday party on the guest of honor's lawn.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Marcela do on our quiz?

KASELL: Marcela is a winner, Peter. That's because she had three correct answers.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. Thank you so much for playing, Marcela. Congratulation.

GALLI: Thank you so much. Bye, everybody.

SAGAL: Bye, bye.

BABYLON: Bye.

BLOUNT: Bye. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.