Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:08 pm
Fri June 27, 2014

Limericks

Originally published on Sat June 28, 2014 10:59 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call and leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Or click the contact us link on our website - waitwait.npr.org. There, you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago. And our first-ever show in the wilds of Red Rocks outside Denver, Colorado on July 10.

SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.

WENDY: Hi, This is Wendy from Middleton, Massachusetts.

SAGAL: Hello, Wendy. How are things in Middleton?

WENDY: Great.

SAGAL: What you do there?

WENDY: I'm a health coach with a practice called Well Beyond 50.

SAGAL: Well Beyond 50?

WENDY: Yes.

SAGAL: I see. It's sort of a pun.

(LAUGHTER)

WENDY: Well, it wasn't meant to be.

SAGAL: Well, welcome to our show, Wendy.

WENDY: Thanks.

SAGAL: You're going to play the Listener Limerick Challenge. Bill Kurtis right here is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you'll be a big winner. Ready to go?

WENDY: I sure am.

SAGAL: Here is your first limerick.

BILL KURTIS: Another indignant mom blows in. The Elsa is already chosen. Yes, lady, we know. Kids love "Let It Go." That's why there's a day camp about...

WENDY: Oo.

SAGAL: So it rhymes with...

WENDY: "Frozen."

SAGAL: "Frozen." yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

KURTIS: "Frozen." My goodness.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Kids all over America are singing "Frozen" songs and dressing up like the characters. Problem is the parents don't get to pay for them to do that. Well, no more.

Two "Frozen" summer camps are opening up around Chicago. There's plays, dances, betrayals by those you though you loved. At $250 for five days, it's a bargain. Just be prepared for tears when your darling daughter comes home and says she was chosen to play the fat comic relief snowman.

(LAUGHTER)

LUKE BURBANK: That - that song is probably the most important thing in America.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The song "Let It Go" from the movie "Frozen"

BURBANK: I'd say, above, like, the military, above, you know...

SAGAL: Really?

BURBANK: ...The sort of anything else in this country. It is what's holding this country together.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.

KURTIS: The mortician is posing my wife in a kitchenette wielding a knife. A coffin display is far too blase. I like a scene drawn from real...

WENDY: Life.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Real life.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The New York Times recently reported on a new trend in funerals. The bereaved are posing their loved ones in elaborate real-life situations - in case you need another reason not to die.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: In one example, a grandma is propped at her kitchen table smoking a cigarette surrounded by her favorite things - a TV, a bottle of whiskey and beer. The important thing is they let you choose how you're propped up. Don't let your loved ones pose you how you lived - ignoring your family watching Netflix with your iPad propped up on your chest.

SHELBY FERO: I would honestly say this is actually the first thing that was probably made me the least afraid of death. Like...

SAGAL: Really?

FERO: Yeah, the thought that afterwards I could do some sort of weird bit that everyone has to be a part of.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Here's my question. Do I have to pose by myself? Like, could I be posed in bed with, say, George Clooney or something?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It depends how much George Clooney is getting work at that time, Roxanne.

ROBERTS: (Laughing).

SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.

KURTIS: From my youth when I squirmed in my rug spot, to last week when with weapons and drugs caught, I was shunned and ignored. But now I have scored. The ladies all swoon at my...

SAGAL: Rhymes with rug spot, drugs caught...

WENDY: I have no clue.

SAGAL: It's mug shot.

WENDY: Oh, my gosh. Mug shot.

SAGAL: Of course.

WENDY: Of course.

SAGAL: Last week when Jeremy Meeks was arrested in California for gang-related crimes and as soon as his incredibly hot mug shot hit the Internet, it was like the only thing that man is guilty of is stealing my heart.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Internet went nuts. Rumors flew that Oprah had personally bailed him out, that he'd been offered a modeling contract. None of them are true. Meeks remains in prison spending his days cutting out license plates with his razor-sharp cheekbones.

(LAUGHTER)

FERO: It's hard 'cause it's a radio show so we can't show a picture. But if it means anything to - with my word, he's a beautiful man.

ROBERTS: He's actually too good looking. He's a little bit like...

FERO: Personal preference.

SAGAL: Yeah. I mean...

FERO: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Wendy do in our quiz?

KURTIS: Two out of 3.

SAGAL: Yes.

KURTIS: Winner, winner. Wendy winner.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Congratulations, Wendy.

WENDY: Thank you.

SAGAL: Bye-bye.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.